man, i feel like crap

So, you know how I was bitching about upholding family obligations that my parents planned? Well, the obligation was to transport my Grandma Anderson to the last youth orchestra concert of the season, which I didn't want to do, and wasn't planning on attending in any case.

The good news was that I didn't have to do that. The bad news is because Grandma Anderson had a massive stroke at some point on Friday night/Saturday morning, and passed away early this morning.

I feel like such a selfish scumbag. I mean, she wouldn't have been able to go to the concert anyways as a result of the stroke, but I still feel crappy for not doing something differently, even though there is nothing that I could have done that would have affected anything.

Luckily, she went quickly, and she was comfortable. Now, we wait for news from her son about funeral/memorial arrangements.

Geez.

family responsibility

I don't where my responsibility lies with regard to my family. My mom called and wanted me to go to the Youth orchestra concert. But I don't want to go. She needs me to run to the carehome and ride back with Grandma Anderson in the HandyDart. The home is not well staffed enough to actually make sure that she gets on the right HandyDart. They simply park her in the office.

I feel really selfish right now. I don't want to go to the concert, I don't want to ride in the the HandyDart, and it isn't up to me to cover the staffing shortfalls of the provincially-funded carehome.

God, I feel like such a loser right now. I am just tired of having to help the parents cope with plans that they make and expect me to help them fulfill on some level.

Ah well. I am off to bed. I start the Corporate Rowing challenge tomorrow, and I must get my stuff lined up.

the blog

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That is the extent of my blog creativity at the moment.

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