curve ball

I'm not atheletic. Everyone knows it. Throw me your car keys? I'll drop them on the floor... If you are lucky, in my dramatic flail to catch them, I will knock something over or break a precious item.

But I am getting better.

The universe threw me another curve ball today. I kicked, I yelled (more like roared) and then I broke down and I cried. A lot.

StudentAid BC denied my application for funding for the current semester. I have funding for next semester, but I have decimated myself financially to make it through this semester. The reason for denying me funding? I earned too much prior to studying. But wait, look at the numbers.

$10,000 reported net income, and they want me to save $7762 of that. How, I ask you?

So I appealed the decision. I have already been through one special appeal to get the value of my car waived - they viewed it as an asset, even though it is a liability, and due to the way it was financed, I am contractually forbidden to sell it until I have paid for it. Anyways, they waived the car, great. They refuse to adjust my expected contribution. Why?

THEY THINK I AM GOING TO USE IT TO RUN MY VEHICLE.

The vehicle that is parked, uninsured in Victoria. A fact that they are aware of.

Sorry StudentAid, but here is a list of things that have to be taken care of before I even dream of operating my car again.

1. Monthly Car Payment
2. Rent
3. Food
4. The $600 for books and school supplies I owe my family.
5. The $300 I owe my brother-in-law, who has been buying my groceries.
6. The $402 I owe Bell for my cell phone bill, due by December 25 (Merry Christmas)
7. The $450 I owe Desjardin credit for my suspended VISA card.

I have destroyed myself financially, liquidating my pension and mutual funds to get as far as I have in this semester. I am working two part-time jobs, equalling about 25-30 hours/week in addition to my course load.

I think that I have juggled bills, and have real demonstrated need. But alas, due to the arbitrary decision on the part of StudentAid BC (the all-caps phrase above is a direct quote from the email that notified me), I am fucked.

So next semester, I will take the $2600 they have offered, pay my tuition, and use the balance to try and repair the damage from this term. I will take only three courses, and work as much as I can in order to get back on the horse, and try and finish part-time.

Long term goal? Right now, it feels like I need to get out of BC. We'll see.

Things I have lost today: I won't be able to volunteer at the Olympics, my financial security, and a few tears.

Things I have gained today: The life lesson that sometimes, it feels like you shouldn't even try. But when that happens, fight back or fight different.

Thank goodness I only have $13 to my name, or I might be tempted to drink... actually, I'm tempted, but, you know. Rice and beans first!

So there you go... how to juggle a curve ball.

I'm out.