Oprah, that was a bad show

So there I was, the self-confessed trekkie, lying on the couch dosing after watching some Star Trek. When I woke up, Star Trek had ended and been replaced by Oprah.

I watched the show for a little while, and it appeared to be one of those typical "scandal" shows. The husband had a terrible secret to hide from his wife, of 15 years, and it was an unbelievable secret. It turns out that the man's secret was that he was gay.

Oprah then proceeded to lambaste the man for cheating on his wife. But first, you need the background info.

He had known that he had gay tendencies when he got married to her at twenty years of age, but at the time was confused and thought that it was a passing thing that would get worked out of his system with time. However, he realized it wasn't.

He cheated on his wife, running a double life for 12 of the fifteen years that they were married. They also had two sons. He had five long-term relationships with men during his wedded years.

After this 'terrible' secret (which the wife had already known before coming on the show), Oprah began to lambaste the man for lying to his wife for fifteen years. Oprah didn't understand why he couldn't just tell his wife that he was gay before they had got married. Another specialist that had been brought in for the show explained that it wasn't that simple. To which Oprah responded, and I quote directly:

"I thought that things had been made easier for you people."

That line just about drove me through the ceiling. "you people!" What is made even more surprising is the fact that Oprah comes from a visible minority herself! "you people?!" Good Christ!

This show touched on some fairly touchy issues, including the large number of closeted gay men that are married. But what slayed me the most was that the point of the show was not to bring meaning or understanding the problems that this situation causes, for both sides of the couple. This show focussed more on what a terrible man this guy had been, keeping this secret from his wife for so long. However, it is completely unfair for anyone, even Oprah, to pass judgement on the situation, or the people involved, when then cannot possibly imagine what these people go through.

As someone who went through it myself, it is INCREDIBLY difficult to come out to friends and family, and it is even more difficult, perhaps inconceivably so, to even begin to comprehend the pain that a person goes through while coming to grips with their sexuality, which is largely still unacceptable in the eyes of society in general. It is not as simple as "just coming out." A person faces rejection from their family, friends, and ostracization. In some cases, violence is even a real threat.

I hope that what Oprah was trying to do was point out the fact the homosexuality is more acceptable now than it was even 10 - 15 years ago, and it just came out wrong. However, she should perhaps interview a few of "us people" for our experiences before using her show to cast jusdgement on ANYONE!

There, I think I vented myself for the time being.