first ever

I got my first ever A+!!!!

In one of my Media Studies courses, we had to propose our grade. I asked for an A/A+ and this is what the professor said:

Hi Dave:

Thanks for the detailed breakdown of your contributions to the course: this is an impressive and realistic list!

While it's rare for me to assign an A+, this appears to be one of those special occasions where inspired contributions beyond the call of duty deserve to be recognized. You got it.

I especially appreciated your willingness to adapt to changing conditions (Tina, last-minute interviews, personnel issues), your thorough and conscientious approach to on-going communications, and your creative contributions to various aspects of the campaign--including becoming the student face of the campaign. Nicely done! You played a major and influential role in shaping this campaign, and demonstrated some excellent leadership skills. I appreciate your involvement very much.

It's been a sincere pleasure to learn with you over the last year, and I hope we'll stay in touch.

Have a great summer!

Marshall

Well, needless to say I am very pleased. I got an A in my other course, and am still waiting for the grades on the Media on Film course, but this term looks like it shaking down to be a very good one! Exams are done, and my stress levels are slowly dropping.

I have been working a lot - I picked up a temporary job at the university. It's in the same office as before, but a bit more responsibility. The President's assistant is on holiday, and I am covering her desk, which is cool. And pays well. Unfortunately, it also means working twelve days in a row without a day off, including many days that are back-to-back between the two jobs. Those are tough.

The roommate is moving out soon, and it is a good thing. The last two nights I have been awoken by what sounds like a cheap porno being made next door. I need to have a chat with him - it's his life, but when I need to get up at 4.30am to open at Starbucks, I don't want to be woken in the middle of the night.

And finally, R is going to be here in a little over two weeks! I am very excited for the visit. A couple of days in Victoria, a day in Vancouver (with tickets to see Les Miserable!) and then the rest of the time puttering about on the island... it will be a welcome respite and change.

Life is good!

And I'm out...

mystery package

I got a mystery package this week, which was full of surprises.


R. sent me a massive box full of easter treats. It took me half an hour to unpack it all, and will take me even longer to consume it all.

It is the unexpected in life that can make it fun.

release

Alright, I've been bottling shit up. Here goes:

Dear Irritation 1: Please move out, now. Get out of my life. Take your piggy, narrow-minded misogynist, racist, homophobic ass out of here. Stop making me feel uncomfortable in my own home. Stop peeing on the toilet seat (How DO you get it under the edge of the seat? Wait, don't tell me), stop going out and leaving the door unlocked, stop running around half-naked all the time.

Dear Irritation 2: Please stop making me feel like an idiot all the time. You're life is so good, stop complaining about it.

Dear Irritation 3: Please stop telling me to come to Victoria for family times. I miss family too, but I CANNOT AFFORD THE TRIP OR THE TIME OFF!!!! If you want me, come get me or buy my Greyhound. You don't get to make me feel bad for not living up to family obligations.

Dear Irritation 4: Please stop making me feel like a child.

Dear Irritation 5: Please either promote me, or tell me you won't. I need to know.

Dear Stupid Woman: YOU run a stop a sign, YOU nearly plow into ME, forcing me to RUN INTO THE ROAD to avoid you, and yet you feel you can turn around and yell at me as I walk up the street? YOU want ME to be more careful? Do you know what those octagonal signs mean? You know, the red ones? They mean STOP! As in STOP YOUR CAR YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!

Jumpin' jehosaphat, I'm angry.

sadness

I have to learn to stop holding on to hope sometimes. I applied for a job with Harbour Air, had a reference from their Director of Corporate Marketing, an excellent reference from The Gardens, and yet... I didn't get it.

That is the FOURTH job in six months that I haven't been successful in applying for. What am I doing wrong? People say that I am over-qualified for student-level jobs, but that isn't fair. Just cause I am over-qualified doesn't mean I can't do the job. If I remove my over-qualified experience from my resume, then it looks like I haven't worked for five years.

I was really counting on that job, I think more than I was letting myself believe. I hope Starbucks can promote me and cough up more hours for the summer...

It is also in moments like this I want company, but I look around and there is none to be had. So instead of getting this out of my system with a walk and coffee with a friend, I am going to do housework. Alone. Again.

Grump.

importance

Lindsay posted her Show and Tell over on her blog, and it got me to thinking about the important events in my life. And, in connection with Lindsay's post about her wedding invitations, I thought that I would post one of the important events in my life, which was participating in Lindsay's wedding.







As you can see, Lindsay and I have a friendship that goes WAY back into Grade 11 for both us. We even dated for, oh, what was it Linds? About 10 days? I distinctly remember a Halloween at your house and I was so nervous and terrified at the same time. Needless to say, Lindsay and I were not meant to be, not in the dating sense of the word.


We've remained very good friends throughout the years, and our friendship has involved other people as well. As time pass, some friendships grow and change, and Lindsay's and mine has gotten very strong. One of the greatest honours I have had was being asked to be the emcee at her wedding.



I had never been an emcee, but I will vivdly remember each and every moment of it, and I wish I could remember the speech I delivered. I hope it was as warm hearted and caring as I remember.

Helping get the guest list ready the night before...

Toasting the happy couple...


And dancing with the bride...

To friends, may they be as important always as they are now.

interesting thought

On the cups at work, they have these saying they call "The Way I See It." I pass out hundreds of these each week, but rarely read them. However, one caught my attention, "The Way I See It #76":

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

- Anne Morriss (Starbucks Customer)

The quote just seemed to grab me a bit, because when you read it a few times, it starts to sink in that that is exactly what happens.

Just thought I would share.

urban dictionary

So the latest thing is to look up your name at urbandictionary.com and see what comes up. My results, are, I think, pretty spot on.

1. A term used to refer to the coolest person in a group.

2. The name you use when you can't think of a person's name

3. Everyone knows a Dave. Daves are, as a rule, people to ask about something, whether it be plumbing, horseracing, astronomy or computers. Daves, like Steves, are "solid blokes".

4. Beloved

5. Better than David

6.The Model of Perfect. No man can come close to the glory of that which is Dave. Dave's are artistic and funny always knowing how to lay down a good massage. Skills that come with Dave include major dexterity in all matters and extentions of limbs and the what not. Daves have the largest units, brains, and balls. Don't mess with a Dave.

Hehehe.

Let's see what you got!

more

I think I need to add to the post below, cause it seems a little bit low.

I am looking forward to the weekend. And well yes, I do feel myself sliding into my weekend-buddy more commonly known as an emotional funk, I also feel like I am not sliding in so deep. I have good people in my life, and some of those people have great news.

This is a good time. Let's focus on that.

home

Just got in from work, and had a very difficult day. Aside from the usual emo-crap, they also decided to change all the air filters in the HVAC systems on my floor today... so my allergies kicked into high gear, and I had to leave early... so lost some pay. :'(

But, the weekend is here, and I am looking forward to it. Tonight, I get to spend some time with R. It's gonna be good!

Cheers to beers! (And a refreshing elder-flower water for Linds)

And I'm out...

Reading Week

So Reading Break came and went, and guess what? I actually READ! Not for school, but for fun! I finished off "Foreskin's Lament - A Memoir" by Shalom Auslander and "What was she thinking? Notes on a Scandal" by Zoë Heller. Both were interesting reads, and my goodness, it was nice to be able to just relax for week.

On Thursday, Mom and Dad came up from Victoria, brought me my mail, my violin, and then we headed back down-island (I got to drive. Nanaimo had a freak foot of snow overnight on Wednesday, and Dad has had cataract surgery so Mom didn't want to drive both ways). We had a nice dinner on Thursday night, and a cranberry/apple/brie-stuffed phyloo pastry appetizer... yum.

Friday saw me getting up and going to UVic to see an advisor about possibly returning. The information wasn't good, it also wasn't bad. I am considering it still, but still not 100% settled. I went home, did a bunch of household work for the parents, including moving a cubic metre of pea gravel from the back of the minivan into Milton's paddock, and moving filing cabinets around.

And see, this is where the worry about Victoria comes into play... I am the good son. I am the one who DOES this kind of stuff. Matthew is around, but my Mom is constantly making excuses about why he isn't able to pitch in more. Frankly, it's because he puts his energies into other pursuits, and sleeps when he is at home. And I don't want to be the good son again - that is one of the reasons I left for Nanaimo. In any case, doing all that reminded me as to why I am up here.

Anyways, had beer with some of my old co-workers on Friday night, lunch with a friend on Saturday, and then off to Vancouver in the afternoon. I flew with Harbour Air (I had a free ticket). It was beautiful! I have never seen Victoria from the air like that before. Glad I was able to do it.

Sunday, I went to East Van for my Creating 2010 Volunteer Orientation. It was really interesting. We had our placement interviews, group activities, and a general orientation. I also got a 2" binder of take-home materials, and a DVD of e-Learning modules. The scope of the games is enormous - 25,000 volunteers, 5,500 athletes, etc. It is the equivalent of running the Stanley Cup, Super Bowl and Grey Cup every day for 15 days. I can't imagine the logistics.

We did have to put up with some claptrap, as evidenced by these two videos.







Not sure about the lyric choice on the torch relay, but that is just me...

Unfortunately, now, it is back into the thick of things. Although, the way my work schedule has landed this week, I have a good deal of free time to deal with things. I am also not getting as many hours as I need, and so things are, predictably, stressfully tight. However, I did win a $500 bursary from the school, which I can collect on Monday. That will provide some welcome relief and food!

Wow, talk about a lengthy and boring update!

I have spent this morning watching Star Trek and The Producers. Yep, I am that much of a nerd...

And I'm out...

do i always need a title?

Man, coming up with blog titles is difficult sometimes!

Well, despite all the excitement on Friday night at work, I survived. Life marches forward for all I guess. But, the best part of my weekend was yet to come.

I had probably the most amazing Valentine's Day I have ever had. I mean, V-Day is hard to quantify as an adult, cause it hearkens back to memories of those books of cards and paper bags taped to the front of desks, but as an adult it takes on different meanings. In any case, I spent 14 hours in the company of R (Linds, yes, it's an R too), and enjoyed every moment of it, and I am reasonably certain he did too. Admittedly, the 2000+ miles that separate us were a bit of an obstacle, but the wonders of the internet made up for it. We just literally hung out, talking, made lunch and dinner together, and just thoroughly enjoyed each others company. We 'met' again for lunch on Monday, and just hung out, even more literally than before. He sat there on my screen just being "in the room" reading his book, while I did my reading for midterms. Did the same thing on Tuesday night. I am really enjoying the fact that we can simply 'be' - there is no pressure to entertain or perform for the other party. I am finally feeling a connection with someone, and remembering what a good feeling it is to have. We have a lot of similar interests, but some dissimilar ones as well, which I believe is a healthy part of any friendship.

Clearly, this (and I can't really define 'this' right now) is new territory for me (distance and all), and it is new for him as well. But right now, it works. And that is fine for me.

Another thing that I have been struggling with is hard drive space. R and I have been exchanging a lot of music, and my hard drive is filling up! So I decided to peel off some of my massive collection of photos, which are mostly archival anyways, and I got looking through my collection.

What do you do with pictures of past boyfriends?

Obviously, none of these relationships was a waste, but I feel like I am keeping them as some sort of reminder? I went through and culled the silly ones, because I feel they don't matter as much, but what about the two of you on a birthday dinner? I am having trouble finding a defining line, but at the same time, am strangely ambivalent about it. It's odd.

Anyways, those are my musings!

I'm out...

uh, what?

So we always joke at work about how Harewood is a bad neighbourhood, calling it Scarewood, etc. I admit, that when I walk home late at night, I don't listen to my iPod, and try to have someone on the phone with me when I do. However, nothing serious has happened...

Until tonight. We heard a kerfuffle in the parking lot next to the drive thru, and there were these girls running and screaming through the parking lot, but we couldn't tell what was happening, and it was Friday night, so we dismissed it. 20 seconds later, they come tearing in the front door, one girl is sobbing, her face is completely bashed in, and there is blood all over her face and her front, and dripping on the floor. Customers got up, the two girls I was working with ran over, and I grabbed the phone and called 9-1-1 for an ambulance. Meanwhile, this woman is sobbing terribly. Ambulance dispatcher asks to speak with the girl who is with the beaten one, so I give the phone over. I notice a cop car pulling up outside, so I snap my fingers to get one of the girls attention, and send her out (the cops are always around, it is a coffee shop after all). Well, the cope acted like she was all inconvenienced. The phone is now handed over the cop, and the one accompanying girl is like "Don't tell the cop! We don't want them after us!" and being all attitude. There is so much noise and racket, between the girl crying and the cop trying to get information, and freakin' Frank Sinatra belting "New York, New York" on the background music... meanwhile, people are STILL ORDERING DRINKS!!!!

In any case, the night settled down, and all ended well. It was just my first brush with the 'dark' side of Harewood. Hopefully there aren't many more!

PS: We all decided to try and wear the same look, and it looks pretty darned cute, I must say!

how do i love thee, let me count the ways...

Oh Nanaimo... this is the only city I can think of where you can smell poop from the mill, nearly walk in dog shit (twice, and yes, right on the sidewalk) and step in a puddle of puke (also in the middle of the sidewalk) in the span of about 5 minutes...

There are so many reasons to stay here, don't you agree?

Anyways, in regards to my earlier post, I was asked the question "Are you leaving because of a need to slip back into a comfort zone, or to flee the feeling of loneliness?" And to be completely honest, I am not sure. There are probably elements of both in my situation. I don't want to give anyone the impressions that I have decided to move - cause I haven't.

This part of my life is a new chapter for me. I've had a lot of new chapters, and I am not sure that I like this one in particular. I feel a bit like I am blundering through this one... However, any decision making that needs to be done will be done in due course. In the meantime, I am just living my life.

Admittedly, poo-smell, dog shit and puke don't really add up to a pleasant experience, but hey, instead of getting angry at the city, all I did was produce a type of rueful chuckle and kept going to school.

School today has been, interesting. In my one course, the project we are working on takes a lot of time, but we don't have a lot of direction. Lots of meetings with classmates outside of the regular class hours, but it's ok. I came up to the school today, got lost trying to find the student lounge I was meeting my group in, and then found them in another building. I then moved on to lunch, and then was supposed to have another meeting... that got cancelled. So I had to kill a couple of hours, tried to find dinner. The cafeteria had a single portion of Veggie Lasagna left - so I ate it. Probably won't agree with me later, but there we are.

My Media on Film class starts in about five minutes, so I should probably wrap this up. We are watching The Great Dictator tonight. Charlie Chaplin as Hitler. It should be interesting at the very lease.

I feel like I have a lot to say in my life right now, just need to find the time and the words to get it out.

quiet thanks

I had a terrible weekend. Saturday was spent indoors, sleeping in, feeling sorry for myself. It got worse when I got into a convo with one of the exes that was really really upsetting me. I could feel myself sliding into a bit of an emotional pit, and I was clawing desperately at something to not have it happen, but alas, I couldn't prevent it.

I watched a movie, then watched another movie, and in the middle of the second movie, I started crying for some odd reason. Which turned into sobbing, which turned into bawling, which turned into the hyperventilating-panicky crying when you just cannot stop. I ended up curled up on my bed, sobbing. I haven't been in such a dark place in a very long time, and it just reinforced how fragile I can be sometimes, and it is honestly something that scares me. I have been so moody lately, and it is not a feeling a like. I can literally go from 'fine' to 'fuck off' in 5 minutes flat. My grandfather had similar traits, and I don't want that, I don't like them.

However, the reason for the quiet thanks is this. Hannah talked me down over iChat in the middle of my lowest point, offering words of encouragement when they were needed most, and I felt like there was no one else that I could talk to. I owe her a gratitude for that. I also owe RH thanks - I have quickly learned that he is amazing at delivering little tidbits that prop me back up when I am feeling low, which has admittedly been quite a bit lately. His advice is never patronizing, nor 'lecturing,' just good solid words. It's like he holds up a mirror so I can see exactly what I am saying, and also reflects how much strength I actually have. It is people like these, and Linds and Claire and I am sure others that I am forgetting, that are always content to listen, and for that I give quiet and humble thanks.

It is that strength that is ebbing. I am running out of the chutzpah to stay here in Nanaimo. This city is so difficult to exist in, especially without my car. My finances are strained to the breaking point, and I have no friends here. No one that I can talk to, no one that I can go for a walk with, just classmates. I feel like a prisoner in my own townhome - my life is confined to 7 square blocks. It's 0.8 miles to work, and 0.9 to school. That is my life. I can always count on my brother in law for support, but I can't let things fly in front of him - the Dave filter gets switched on, and I start tempering my language, and downplaying how I am feeling.

So I am using this blog to say this: I am extremely unhappy here. That sums it up. I am still mulling my options, but I might just bail back to Victoria at the end of this term, or partway through the summer. I applied for a part-time job at the school, which would increase my income, easing the financial stress and allowing me to operate my car again, which would make this city more bearable in the short term. But if the job falls through (and I have a feeling it may have already), I will likely be back in Victoria soon.

I feel like "the grass is always greener" is kicking in here... again. But being here is stressing me out, and my temper runs shorter and shorter with each passing week. And I am drinking more...

Here is my logic for moving:

Nanaimo:
- No car
- Earn $1000/month tops
- Spend $1000/month
- Know no one
- Frustration abound

Victoria:
- Could slip back into the job at UVic in the blink of eye (thanks to union seniority) at $14+/hour
- I have a support network there
- Could transfer to a Starbucks there
- Live on my own

I realize this list seems cursory, and it is. But at this point, I don't know what feels right anymore. I can remember a time when Nanaimo felt right.

Linds, your the Virgo... any advice?

I am done with the emotional rollercoaster for now. I need to knuckle down and get some schoolwork done. But I just needed to put this all out there.

And be reminded of the important people that step into my life and change it.

hello from the backroom

It's true, for those of you who need proof... I have become a Starbucks boy. The only one at my store, actually. All that high-up and heavy stuff on the shelves? That's why I'm there...

interior

I spent this past weekend doing very little. Naturally, there was some beer at the pub on Friday. And then a movie... and then pizza... and more beer. Then the remembering that I worked at 8am on Saturday morning. I slogged my way into work, and then I moved on with the day. A one hour nap turned into a two hour nap... which turned into a groggy evening at home for Dave.

Sunday saw me doing errandy-type stuff, reading for class, and getting Chris from the ferry terminal. All told, it was a very quiet and low-key weekend. I also considered reorganizing my room yesterday, but I will have to see how the week progresses before I expend any energy on
that particular department.

I have also spent a significant portion of the weekend (and indeed, the last few weeks) speaking with a particular individual, a person who makes me feel really good about myself. I hope that I have the same effect on them as well. I have been "juggling" how that makes me feel, and I continue to juggle it. It is not a bad thing, by any means... just new territory for me to navigate, emotionally speaking. You know who you are, and I know you are reading this, and I just hope
that it makes sense. I used to censor my blog - but that was one of my promises I made to myself when I re-started the blog a few months ago, to no longer censor myself to match my potential audience.

In any case, I have schoolwork left to do, and the parents are coming to visit this afternoon, gonna take Chris and I out for dinner, so I should get cracking!

weekend bonus!

I just learned that not only do I get to see Lindsay this weekend, I get to see Claire too!

SUPER BONUS!

Has there EVER been a stair gang reunion of this size on the lower mainland? What will transpire?

I will have to put on my Assistant Dean of Nerdiness cap and figure something out...

vancouver

It's been almost a week since I posted. Geez! I need to work on that...

I got up early this morning, and went to Vancouver. Nice, leisurely and beautiful sailing across the straits, and a nice calm bus ride into downtown Vancouver. It is eerily beautiful here right now - all the highrises are swarthed in a misty heavy fog, but the sun is streaming through in these immensely powerful shafts of light. I have dropped my bags at Linds' office (thanks for the Bag Check service Linds!) and am just sitting in a Starbucks (surprise surprise) enjoying my Grande with-room Americano. Now, anywhere I go, I pretty much look for a Starbucks; after all, it keeps my expenses down!

This 'Bucks is in the basement of one of the Bentall Centre towers, Bentall IV I believe. These buildings are the definition of International-style hideousness on the outside, but their retail areas in the basements have been given a tidy makeover over the last few years. But I experienced something interesting on my way down here today.

There is a woman cleaning the escalators. It is a job I never even thought of. She has been cleaning them for twenty minutes. I continue to watch her clean, and continue to watch the general public pretend she isn't there. The escalators are quite narrow, and she just sits down with her feather duster on the balustrade between the up/down sides, wiping finger prints and scuffs off the side panels. People cannot walk past her (and there are wont to do in Vancouver), so they just stand right behind her squat form, checking their watch or consulting their Blackberries (Bentall is like financial centre. Each of the towers is a bank. I am under the TD Canada Trust, RBC is across the street).

I am not meaning to say that these people are deliberately ignoring her, but perhaps they are as shocked as I am at the very presence of an escalator cleaning woman. I guess it is something that happens all over the world, and a clean escalator is something that we ALL take for granted. Do you ever have those moments where you are surprised and learn something new, even though it is completely and utterly logical?

productivity

Today is going to be a productive day. I have decided. It is beautiful out - the sun is shining, there is hoar frost all over the place, and it is day that demands I go outside. Gonna get me some fresh air!

And run some errands... groceries, finally get all my prescriptions transferred, get a list of doctors who are accepting new patients, get some pants hemmed. It's gonna be a good day.

And, I am bringing my camera... perhaps I will get some photos taken. I've got a bit of an itch!

change of plans

Is defeatedly optimistic a feeling?

I sat down this morning and did my budget for this semester. Due to the semester from hell, my student loans have gone to keeping creditors off my back. That leaves not a lot of money for other things, like groceries.

So basically, I can't actually afford to keep the four-course course load I have planned. So, I am dropping one more course, which leaves me with three. Believe me, I am not thrilled with the idea, but at the same time, it is simply a reality.

With all of the changes in my life since 2004, forth and back with different life goals, I have assumed the responsibilities of a life after education before having an education. My monthly expenses at the moment make it difficult to pay the car payment, pay the VISAs, pay the phone bill, rent, etc. So I just need to scale back my plans.

I am glad that I sat down and figured this out. I refuse to put myself through what I did this past semester. However, I will not give up on my plan. I will just soldier on, and learn new things and experience things I want to do along the way.

Here is to an amended 2009!

falling apart

So nothing can ever be right in my life, or at least it seems like that sometimes.

The air up here is SO dry and it is absolutely wreaking havoc on my skin. And I am allergic to every single cleaner at Starbucks, and my arms are SO FREAKING DRY AND ITCHY and I scratch them in my sleep and I just cannot heal! My hair is practically crispy, the dandruff I used to have growing up has reasserted itself, AND my eczema refuses to cooperate. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

So as I flake, scratch, and crumble into non-existance, I am slowly going crazy trying not to scratch.

Dave's meme

Ok, so I thought it was MY turn to start something.

And I don't even know if this is a meme, or perhaps just a challenge.

I want everyone to locate the song that most encapsulates how they have been feeling of late. Don't analyze, just pick the song that you have been listening to, or deriving pleasure from, etc.

Find it YouTube, and put it on your blog. It doesn't have to be the music video for the song, I am more interested in the lyrics. As evidenced by my selection below, sometimes you just can't find the video.

My song is "I'm on Standby" by Grandaddy.

where the hell?

I know everyone has likely already seen this video, but I stumbled across it again today. "Where the hell is Matt?" is such a good video, and is designed to pull at the heartstrings. Don't get me wrong, it tugs at mine too (and thanks to my media studies courses, I have better understanding of why... it's the music.)

Anyways, in rewatching it, I realize that it does have a larger meaning or subtext - basically, that regardless of nationality, political allegiances, language barriers, etc that we can all dance. Or in truer terms, that regardless of where we are, we are all human beings. I think that is something that well forget from time to time. I can think of a few world leaders who could watch this...

So for those who haven't seen it yet, or simply want to rewatch it, here it is.

Happy New Year!

A yank on your ear for the first of the year!

Happy New Year everyone!

end of the year musings

So here we stand on the cusp of a new year, and along with many, I am sure that I cannot put 2008 behind me fast enough. Not in a "throw it all away and forget it ever happened" way, but in a "I am done with that now" way. We can only grow from our experiences, and as the old cliche goes, whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

I am excited for 2009, for fairly mundane reasons:

• I am reducing my course load and taking longer to finish. Not by much, just an extra semester, but I cannot maintain the stress levels that I had last semester, and in fact, all of last year.
• I am going to do fun things, but not things that cost me a lot of money, cause there won't be a lot of that. But there will be more Dave-time.
• I will resume the hunt for someone to spend time with - loneliness is even harder to deal with when you have had someone special and no longer do. That being said, not rushing into anything, just keeping my eyes open.
• I will endeavour to disconnect further from the machinations of my family. I love them all dearly, but I simply cannot emotionally invest myself in their lives any longer.
  
• I will read more extra-curricular books.
• I will sleep more.

This year saw a lot of bad, and unfortunately, I recall writing a similar post in 2007. 2007 was a scary year for health, and 2008 was a scary year for my sanity. But there was a lot of good in 2008 as well, which is a fact I must be cognizant of in the coming months.

So let's all raise a glass, to 2009, to a new beginning, to the shedding of the old, and to good times ahead!

And, for those of you who need a chuckle this new year's eve...

Meme again

Alright, Linds, you tagged me...

7 random facts about Dave?

Okay, here we go...

1. My hairline is rapidly receding, even more so over the last 4 months.

2. I have a single birthmark, 3 inches below my bellybutton. It is a perfect little circle, about the size of a pencil eraser. Very few get to see it...

3.I fight constantly with the 'fight or flight' instinct, and worry in stressful situations that the 'grass is always greener' leaps to mind too quickly.

4. I wish I had manlier arms with manly arm hair. Weird, I know.

5. My right foot is larger than my left one.

6. Like Linds, I too am an OCD Virgo. I know that if Lindsay was visiting me and looking for something, I could say "in that pile over there" while gesturing at multiple piles, and she would know which one. My desk at work, it MUST be tidy. Everything in its place. Home life... not so much.

7. I don't know what I will be doing in 14 months, and am choosing not to think about it!

I don't have any readers to tag...

Merry Christmas All!

I was worried that in all the hustle and bustle that I would forget to say this, so here you go:

To all, a very Merry Christmas. Have fun with family, friends and loved ones over this special time.

And all my best wishes for 2009 may it bring you happiness, love and laughter, good health and prosperity.

With everything that I have to offer!

I'm out.

christmas eve eve

I just wanted to post, cause I felt like I should.

I have been busy working, and am now in Victoria getting ready for Christmas. Looking forward to all the relaxing and Christmas times...

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!

luck

I am lucky, in all the best and most meaningful ways.

I just needed to say it, and to see it, in order to feel it.

I hope that all I touch feel the same way too.

paper

So, the horrible paper that I had to write, and had an impossible time writing, and I thought was a sack of garbage...

Well, I got it back today, and it was an A-.

I guess I can do better than I thought...

and I'm out.

meme

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the "next" button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

-IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
Let's Go

-WHAT WOULD DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Symphony No.5 in D minor op.47 III. Largo
(this is a very dark piece of music)

-WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Don't Worry

-HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Cha Cha Cha D'Amour

-WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Strangers

-WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Amazing Life

-WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
O Come All Ye Faithful

-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
You Should Be Dancing

-WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Light Magic

-HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
Mission: Impossible (Remix)
(Ummm... dammit?)

-WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Virgo

-WHAT IS 2+2?
Footprints

-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
Come from a Land Downunder

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Was Your Face a Head in the Pillow Case?

-WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Brooklyn Roads

-WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Birdsong

-WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I Want a New Duck

-WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Cry

-WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Trepak

-WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Señorita

-WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
The Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra

-WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Lifes Full o'Consequence

-WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Suspended in Time

-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm

christmas music

I read an interesting article on the CBC's website about the worst Christmas singles of all time. I found it interesting, because in the comments there were a lot of people who were upset about the distinction between CAROLS and SONGS.

I have an appreciation for both. I enjoy the popular singles, most of which date from the 40s onward, to the traditional carols. I don't think that we need to have a clear separation - there aren't two camps to belong to. Pink Martini doing "Do You Hear What I Hear?" is just as good as "Once in Royal David's City" by the Academy of St. Martin in the Fields.

I just feel like at this time of year, people get caught up in the hype for sure, but that there is a hype to the hype. It is almost cool to hate Christmas. Me, I enjoy it. It's a nice break to life, and it means seeing people I want to see and miss dearly, good food, cozy rooms, fireplaces, baking, and watching the mailbox for Christmas cards (which reminds me... I should get on top of mine). Personally, I like looking at other people's trees as well - each ornament usually has a story or some significant meaning attached to it.

Everyone just relax and enjoy the season, regardless of the reason.

procrastimating

I got caught up this stupid survey stuff... why am I so gullible.

100. Do you want to be in a relationship? Longingly, but I recognize it needs to be with the right person, not just for its own sake.

99. Do you have a job? I have two jobs. I am a barista at Starbucks, and a Student Project Assistant in the Office of the President at Vancouver Island University.

98. Last 2 cars you were in/ with who? 1) Today, Honda Accord, with my brother in law. 2) the day before, in Andrew's Jeep TJ. Nicest guy ever... turns around and will drive me up the hill to school, even though he was going the opposite direction.

96. Lied in the last 24 hours? Yes. On an exam. Don't worry, I didn't plagiarize.

95. What is your current ring tone? Standard telephone noises.

94. What is the last movie you watched and with who? Running with Scissors, with a bottle of wine and popcorn.

93. Who makes you mad? A great number of people. I tend to repress it and dismiss it though.

92. What is your middle name? Michael James

91. Last text you sent/received? This afternoon.

89. What time did you wake up this morning? 7am

88. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes.

87. What are you doing? Procrastinating, and studying. In that order.

86. When's your birthday? September 1st

85. Does it bug you when people delete questions from surveys? Never really noticed...

84. Are you afraid of growing old? It happens.

83. Are you happy right now? Life is what it is, and I can only change so much.

82. What is sitting to your right? My bed.

81. What is your favorite sport to watch? Olympic Hockey

80. Do you have any kids? No.

79. Do you have a favorite stuffed animal? Yes, but he's in a box at my parents.

78. Did you go trick-or-treating this year & with who? Nope.

77. Do you know who Mr. Mistoffelees is? I know who Mephistopheles from Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe is, although I doubt that is the answer sought...

76. What song are you listening to? Just Like Christmas - Low

75. Do you sing in the shower? Rarely.

74. Can you Crank Dat? Clearly.

73. Did you have a valentine this year? Kinda. Met my most recent ex-boyfriend on Valentines.

72. Last time you listened to country music? In a rental car.

71. What do you think of the song Boom, boom, boom by Vengaboys? Never loved it, but it can make cleaning tasks go pretty quickly.

70. Do you laugh at your own jokes? Most of the time.

69. Where do you want to live when you grow up? This question is far to existential for me at the moment.

68. How tall are you? 5'10"

67. How many drugs are in your system? Caffeine, and lots of it.

65. What are you wearing? Jeans, my "I'm a Mac" tshirt, black socks, slippers, and my H&M blck hoodie.

64. Last person to comment you? Debra.

63. Do you sing? Ever been in the car with me?

61. Rock or Rap? Neither.

60. Do you like cheese? Love it.

59. Who called you last? Vancouver 2010 Volunteer Information Centre.

58. Last item you purchased? Greyhound bus ticket.

57. What jewelry do you wear constantly? Nothing.

56. Are you a crazy person? Ask Lindsay.

55. Who was the last person you hugged ? Ummm... Ella.

54. What candidate do you support running for president? I pass on this, for obvious reasons.

53. Are you a fast typer? Average, high end of average. Being a Data Clerk helped.

52. What time is it? 8:37pm

51. What do you smell? Chocolate. From the brownie I just ate.

50. Is anything bothering you right now? The list is too long.

48. What are you doing today/tomorrow? Exam in the morning, work in the afternoon, studying in the evening.

47. What's your favorite subject in school? Media Studies.

46. What's your worst grade that you currently have & what subject is it in? C+ in Victorian Literature.

45. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? Any reason to celebrate.

44. If you died right now, is there something you'd want to say to someone? Of course.

43. How many friends do you have on myspace? PFT! Who uses myspace? I have 223 on Facebook.

42. Who's one person you cannot stand? Katie.

41. What's your opinion on same sex marriage? Do you really need to ask ME this question?

40. Do you miss anyone right now? Yes.

39. What foreign language do/did you study? German.

38 . Does it take a lot to earn someone's trust? I think it is an organic process that happens differently for all.

36. Describe your life in two words? Stress, alternate-thought.

34. What shampoo do you use? Tresemme, Tresemme, oo-la-la!

33. What do you want right now? Time off, free of thought and commitment.

32. Jeans or sweatpants? Jeans

31. What should you be doing? Certainly not this survey.

29. Do you have socks on? Yes I do. I hate cold feet...

28. Do you own sunglasses? Nope. I don't like them, but I should get a pair out of necessity.

27. Have you ever cried so hard, you made yourself sick? Just to the edge of getting sick.

26. Do you like techno? It depends...

25. Do you get nervous in front of large groups of people? Nope!

24. What was your kindergarten teacher's name? Dr. Whitely

23. Plans for Saturday? Some latte slingin' at S'Bux.

19. Favorite TV shows: Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, The Simpsons, Family Guy

18. Do you like '80s movies? Sometimes, but sometimes they are so fucking pretentious in their 80s-ness.

17. Do you like "The Goonies"? Yes, but not obsessively.

16. What's your favorite food? Chicken strips on rice with ranch dip.

14. Last thing you ate? A brownie.

13. Current problem? Too many to list here. Getting through the next 4 days?

12. Been to London? Technically, twice.

11. Can you lick your toe? No, and I don't want to.

10. Who's the most photogenic person you ever seen ? Joanna Daley.

9. Been to college? University. Still there.

8. Ever been given a breathalyser test? No. I don't drink and drive.

7. Favorite time of day? Clear dawns.

6. Ever licked someone's cheek? Embarassingly, yes.

5. What are you looking forward to? Sunday - Liz is coming for the holidays.

4. Have you ever ran from the police? No.

3. Ever gotten lost in the dark? Yes. It is a discomfiting sensation.

2. What do you think of the last person who posted this? Fun and quirky, and far away.

1. Are you wanting something you can't have? Don't we all? But I know my limits...

song?

This was on the other day, and I have decided that it is the soundtrack of the circus of my life over the past 6 months...

We all gotta laugh.

friday night

I handed in my shorter paper, and wrote the final exam for my literary theory course.

The worst of it is behind me.

Tonight, I am watching a movie and enjoying a bottle of wine. Tomorrow, I have to work all day... then another short paper. And then... four back to back exams. Then it is over.

But the end is in sight.

Also, after much handholding and doing-their-work-for-them, StudentAid BC has decided that I do qualify for funding for the current semester... they didn't realize that before being in school, I was making student loan payments. Oh, and they claimed they didn't know that I had cashed out my pension, despite the two letters that specifically mention it.

SIGH.

But, I have some money coming.

Slowly, surely, and steadfastly, things are happening.

curve ball

I'm not atheletic. Everyone knows it. Throw me your car keys? I'll drop them on the floor... If you are lucky, in my dramatic flail to catch them, I will knock something over or break a precious item.

But I am getting better.

The universe threw me another curve ball today. I kicked, I yelled (more like roared) and then I broke down and I cried. A lot.

StudentAid BC denied my application for funding for the current semester. I have funding for next semester, but I have decimated myself financially to make it through this semester. The reason for denying me funding? I earned too much prior to studying. But wait, look at the numbers.

$10,000 reported net income, and they want me to save $7762 of that. How, I ask you?

So I appealed the decision. I have already been through one special appeal to get the value of my car waived - they viewed it as an asset, even though it is a liability, and due to the way it was financed, I am contractually forbidden to sell it until I have paid for it. Anyways, they waived the car, great. They refuse to adjust my expected contribution. Why?

THEY THINK I AM GOING TO USE IT TO RUN MY VEHICLE.

The vehicle that is parked, uninsured in Victoria. A fact that they are aware of.

Sorry StudentAid, but here is a list of things that have to be taken care of before I even dream of operating my car again.

1. Monthly Car Payment
2. Rent
3. Food
4. The $600 for books and school supplies I owe my family.
5. The $300 I owe my brother-in-law, who has been buying my groceries.
6. The $402 I owe Bell for my cell phone bill, due by December 25 (Merry Christmas)
7. The $450 I owe Desjardin credit for my suspended VISA card.

I have destroyed myself financially, liquidating my pension and mutual funds to get as far as I have in this semester. I am working two part-time jobs, equalling about 25-30 hours/week in addition to my course load.

I think that I have juggled bills, and have real demonstrated need. But alas, due to the arbitrary decision on the part of StudentAid BC (the all-caps phrase above is a direct quote from the email that notified me), I am fucked.

So next semester, I will take the $2600 they have offered, pay my tuition, and use the balance to try and repair the damage from this term. I will take only three courses, and work as much as I can in order to get back on the horse, and try and finish part-time.

Long term goal? Right now, it feels like I need to get out of BC. We'll see.

Things I have lost today: I won't be able to volunteer at the Olympics, my financial security, and a few tears.

Things I have gained today: The life lesson that sometimes, it feels like you shouldn't even try. But when that happens, fight back or fight different.

Thank goodness I only have $13 to my name, or I might be tempted to drink... actually, I'm tempted, but, you know. Rice and beans first!

So there you go... how to juggle a curve ball.

I'm out.

'tis the end

It's the end of classes, or rather it was yesterday.

I have most of today to work on that paper (and have to finish it actually), and then tomorrow I have another shorter paper...

So here goes!

Pinch and punch

A pinch and punch for the first of the month.

After my miserable failure last night, I went to bed and set my alarm (3 of them actually) for a 6am start to my day. All three alarms were not accessible from bed... I had to get out of bed to deal with them.

Come 8am, I woke up. All three alarms were off.

WTF is wrong with me? How the hell did I manage to turn off 3 separate alarms?

Now, I am extra fucked with a side of OMFG.

11:11pm

So I didn't manage it. Despite all my efforts (which were really in vain) I have lost an entire free day for paper-writing, and a 5-hour shift, all in the name of getting nothing done.

I have 2 pages of notes, on 3 of my 4 theorists. No thesis, no paper.

Dave is officially broken.

Can anyone tell me what's next?

One more time...

This is my attempt at clearing my mind so I can get going on the aforementioned stalled research paper.

Things that are happening this week:

Sunday: Literary Theory Paper (2500 words).
Monday: 3 classes, Media Studies Short Paper (750 words), Victorian Lit Paper (1000 words), Starbucks 5:45-10:45pm
Tuesday: Literary Theory Paper Research Binder, Starbucks 5:45-10:45pm, StudentAid BC Appeal Committee considers my appeal.
Wednesday: Starbucks 5:45pm-10:45pm
Thursday: NOTHING
Friday: Literary Theory Exam 9am, work at VIU for four hours in afternoon.
Saturday: Starbucks 7-3:15pm

How to write my paper:

1. Separate your four theorists.
2. Re-read assigned excerpts for each and annotate.
3. Peruse library books for back up.
4. Make connections.
5. Develop thesis.
6. Write.

There, now that I have compartmentalized it somewhat, maybe I can get something done.

someone help me

I am really starting to seriously think that there is something wrong with me. Some of you who know me know that I had an exceedingly rough few days over the last couple of weeks, and I feel like it has sucked all the resolve out of me. I simply can't give anything more.

The timing is terrible. It's the end of classes, and I have 2500 word paper due tomorrow... but I can't seem to work on it. I have been in the library for the last two and a half hours: I have three points, and have read an introduction, and taken some books out on speck. I am having to skip work tonight, but I just don't know where I can get the energy and ideas for this paper. And the stupid thing is, it is the last paper of the term - if I can just get over this last little hump, soon it will be exams and I can take some well-deserved mental time off over the Christmas holidays.

Does anyone have any ideas? Anyone want to write me a paper?

I'll just continue staring off into the fog until the library closes...

Meme (as per Lindsay)

Alright Linds, you tagged me. But I cheated. My photographic skills are nowhere near as good as yours... so I did the sixth picture of each year, going back to 2005.

Click here for 2005. This was the roadtrip.

This is 2006. The view from the bench at UVIC where friends and I would congregate between classes.

2007 brings a picture of Louis the Pug, Liz and Chris' dog.

And 2008 found me walking in the snow.

Alright, pass judgement in the comment field below!

wandering

I feel like I am drifting a bit. My things are packed, the move is over (for the most part) and the farewells have begun.

Lots to do. The countdown has begun.

Fresh blog

I promised everyone a blog re-start awhile ago, then I got lazy. Please bear with me while I ease myself back into blogging.

So here I am. I am packing for my move back to Nanaimo, the majority of which is happening tomorrow morning. It is very difficult to PACK when you know that you have to live in the place for another three weeks... I kinda need to pack for a three week holiday, then pack what is left after that to go to Nanaimo...

Full of mixed emotions. The end is near for me here, and this feel more, well, permanent than my last myriad of life changes. It just feels very final. I have so much to do in the next 3 weeks, and so much stress in life, and I am starting to feel like I can't cope - a sure sign of needing to move on into something else.

Anyways, I cannot spend too much time on this entry - I need to get going on packing. The 26-foot UHaul beckons. And tomorrow, I bid the dwelling below good bye!

Paris Day Ten

Paris Day Nine

Pontorson/Caen/Normandy Day Eight

Pontorson Day Seven

Paris Day Six

Paris Day Five

Paris Day Four

Paris Day Three

Paris Day Two

Paris Day One

whirlwind

Tomorrow is going to be a whirlwind... I have advising appointments at UVic and UBC, 5 hours apart... god bless a free flight to Vancouver! Then downtown to see if the SFU campus downtown has any material that might be of use to me, and then... phew!

Ah ha ha ha ha!!!! *insert maniacal laughter here*

humpf

Just entering one of my usual existential crises here.

Feeling a bit adrift, lonely, poor, and unsure.

Perhaps good cup of coffee and a chin wag with a friend in the fresh air will help? It is my favourite kind of day today... moody and gray, but bright, with a freshness to the air.

So, I am bored out of my tree, and decided to see what my soundtrack would be in Round 2. Here are the results:

Opening Credits: I'm Always Chasing Rainbows - Judy Garland

Waking Up: The World is Not Enough - Garbage

First Day At School: First Day of School - Phillip Glass

Falling In Love: Guinness Song - Irish Drinking Songs

Fight Song: Ev'rything I've Got - Chick Corea

Breaking Up: Sun Child - The Vines

Prom: The Body Says No - The New Pornographers

Life: Everybody's Born to Die - Electric Light Orchestra

Mental breakdown: Forbidden Love - Madonna

Driving: Close Every Door - Andrew Lloyd Weber

Flashback: Do What You Gotta Do - Nina Simone

Getting back together: You'd Be So Easy to Love - Frank Sinatra

Love Scene: I'm Alive - Electric Light Orchestra

Wedding: Swallowed in the Sea - Coldplay

Birth of Child: I Can't Be With You - The Cranberries

Final Battle: The Dark of the Matinee - Franz Ferdinand

Death Scene: Fix You - Coldplay

Funeral Song: I Wanna a Little Sugar in My Bowl - Nina Simone

End Credits: 'S Wonderful - Diana Krall

another survey

I've never seen this, so I thought I would try it out.

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?
So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool

Opening Credits: Feelin' Good - Nina Simone

Waking Up: An American in Paris - George Gershwin (kind of fitting)

First Day At School: A Fifth of Beethoven - Walter Murphy

Falling In Love: I Only Have Eyes for You - Oscar Peterson (also fitting...hmmm)

Fight Song: Dindi - Antonio Carlos Jobim/Astrud Gilberto (not at all fitting)

Breaking Up: Haydn - Nikolaimesse (the trend is collapsing further)

Prom: I Feel Pretty - West Side Story (I feel pretty, and witty, and gay!!!!)

Life: Big Girls Don't Cry - Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons

Mental breakdown: Light Cavalry Overture - Suppe

Driving: Blue Eyes - Cary Brothers

Flashback: Volcano - Damien Rice

Getting back together: Any Dream Will Do - Andrew Lloyd Weber (what the hell am I supposed to get from this?)

Love Scene: Night in the City - Electric Light Orchestra

Wedding: Suite in D, Overture - Telemann (If I were having a princess wedding)

Birth of Child: Dreaming My Dreams - The Cranberries

Final Battle: You Wouldn't Like Me - Tegan and Sara

Death Scene: The Bones of an Idol - The New Pornographers

Funeral Song: Chim Chim Cher-ee - Mary Poppins (ummm...)

End Credits: Wake Up - The Arcade Fire

+++

God only know how (in)accurate this is...

feeling good

It is a beautiful day here in Victoria. I went to Starbucks, got me an Americano, and am just about to go for lunch with Hannah. The weather is going to be one of those West Coast days, but whatever!

I had a rough week, but I really feel like today is the start of something good. I am in a very good moods despite being tired (rare for me, as the two never go hand in hand), and I am looking forward to the day. Haircut, lunch with friends, hanging out with Adriane after her LSAT exams... It's gonna be good.

That, and I am feeling slightly goofy today. I hope the people in the old folks home behind me don't wonder about the sanity of the guy dancing alone in his apartment!

omnibus update

It's been a month, so I going to try to cover off on the big stuff. If you know about it, great, if not, consider yourself newly in the know!

Had an alright Christmas. I had the 25 & 26 off, and worked the rest of the week. You can put the fact that I work in quotations, as all the bosses were away, so the mice did play so to speak. Not much was accomplished. Over the Christmas holiday I made some decisions though - I am not at school right now. I had been kind of leaning that way anyways, but when Lindsay took the plunge, it made me think about it again. I haven't stopped my degree, but I will not be attending at UVic anymore. Working full time and trying to finish a degree there is almost impossible. The Gardens are being very flexible with my schedule, but unfortunately the English department offers almost nothing in the evening.

So I am taking the semester off, then transferring my credits to Thompson Rivers and finishing by distance education. I know I had a bad run with that in the past, but I figure I am much more mature now, and this is actually something I want to do. And let me tell you, taking this semester off has been a great idea. I do what I want, when I want. I read books when I want to. I don't have to juggle things. I think that 2007 was incredibly trying (I actually know that it was), and that perhaps I was pushing myself too hard. 2007 saw a lot of good, but it also saw a lot of stress. The cancer scare, followed by the medical things, stress about my car, buying a new car, getting myself rear-ended, ongoing medical treatments, surgery, then an extended recovery, a course I hated, breaking up with Eric, getting my wisdom teeth out... it was all a bit too much. I am calling this my sanity-semester!

In the exciting news category, I am off to Paris to visit Ella. I am very excited about this. Air Canada had a seat sale, and I got return tickets from Victoria to Paris for $1000. A great deal. I leave in April, and am spending 10 days there. Ella and I might go to the south coast of France, or Monacco for a weekend, we'll see how the $$$ work out, or shall I say how the the €€€ work out? In any case, I am very excited about that. I will bring you all a corny gift!

I am thinking about moving - this apartment is just about finished for me. I desperately desperately want a kitchen! You know how much I love to cook... and this is just not working. I buy food to cook, and get so frustrated that I don't cook, and then I end up wasting a lot of food, and spending even more money buying lunch at work and eating out at night.

But now, it is a new year (has been for almost a month) and new things are going to happen!

nothing to do

And it is a good thing...

I am up in Nanaimo, have been since Wednesday night. I am having an excellent time doing absolutely nothing at all. After the last few months, this has been a welcome respite. Because of my various health issues, and the fact that Liz and Chris' town house flooded out in September, I haven't had much of an opportunity to visit with them, so I have been happy to be here. We've watched movies, drank wine, and are heading out to the pub tonight with a bunch of people. Good times had by all!

I am feeling a lot better about myself in the last few days than I have been. Just taking things in stride. My mouth feels tonnes better now after the wisdom teeth, and my persistent, constant headaches are gone. It's a good thing. And I have a lot of fun to look forward to tomorrow. Drinks & a Christmas soiree at a coworker's house, and then off for a Christmas movie night with friends. Then back to work on Monday. My friends are destressing now that exams are winding down, so my social calendar is getting quite busy.

Here's to fun times in the coming days!

how green is my life?

Claire's recent post about the green-ness of her workplace made me think about how green I am at work, and how green I am in general. The thinking process was good, the result was bad:

UNGREEN

- I print numerous emails, and hang on to the digital copy as well. My manager is a "paper person" so there is no way around this.
- My water at lunch is always served in a styrofoam cup.
- The pitcher of water that is kept in the fridge tastes bad, so I get mine from the tap... I run the tap for about 45 seconds before it is cold. That, I can fix.
- My printer frequently malfunctions, spewing sheets of paper and envelopes with one single character on them.
- I drive 32kms to work in my car alone, then another 32kms back at the end of the day.
- I specifically use an incandescent desk lamp - the fluorescents hurt my eyes.
- I pack my lunch in a plastic bag every day, and throw it away when I am done.
- I use two caustic chemicals in my bathroom - the biodegradable ones don't work well enough, and I am lazy, so I use the nasty stuff instead.

GREEN

- When shopping for a new car for my 64km/daily commute, I got the most fuel efficient car I could afford.
- I do all of my errands on the way to/from work, so that I am combining trips.
- I signed up for SPUD.ca to have vegetables delivered to my door every week in a reusable container. The veggies all come from with 800kms of here, so they are relatively local.
- I use biodegradable cleaners when I can.
- My lights at home are all low-energy fixtures.
- I only launder once a week, and only with full loads, and a biodegradable soap.
- I try not to buy individually-packaged things like yogurt.
- I am very conscientious of recycling. Paper, plastic, glass, all that is recycled, both at home and at work.
- I take short showers.

I am sure that this is nowhere near a comprehensive list. I know there I things that I have forgotten from both sides. I applaud any and all efforts to minimize ones impact on the earth.

And Claire, as far as New Year's Resolutions go, I applaud that you make any, even if you do feel like you do not accomplish them. I don't even try. Maybe I'll see what I can do this year. Maybe 2008 will be different.

and I'm out.

weekend of social

whew! Big weekend! So much happening, now I am tired. I'm having breakfast for dinner... yum.

Sat: Computer lab working, then off to see "Glorious!" at the Belfry with Liz. It was an amazing play. So funny, and very well executed. Look it up. I love going to the theatre, and I haven't seen Liz since September, so it was nice. After that, off to Cheryl's house for a Christmas get-together. I had a lot of fun, and I am sure everyone else did too. The potluck was great.

Sun: Slept in, then went a Christmas party at a co-workers house, and that was a great time. One of his guests is a professional chef, and he did the food, so it was all amazing! And the drinks just didn't stop coming. I met a lot of people, and had a lot of great conversations. Then I was off to the lab for more work.

And here I am, at home now, realizing the weekend has drawn to a close, and it was good.

I'm out.

omelette

Went work today, and finished prepping all the Christmas cards that we have to send out. No small task, let me tell you. 368 cards, with varying quantities being signed by up to seven different individuals. Hundreds of envelopes printed. Most of the cards are signed, so I can start sending them out tomorrow. But before they can get mailed, they have to folded and stuffed into their envelopes, then sorted as domestic, US, or International for postal reasons. AHHH!!!!

In other news, I ate my first semi-solid food that required chewing. Best omelette ever, with little chopped up, pre-cooked veggies in it. It was yummy in my tummy. However, I have started to develop a dry socket (no pain) so I have a dressing that tastes likes cloves. All the time. All day. Every hour. Cloves. I am already sick of it.

Wrote my final, it went okay, but as per my previous post, I don't really care. I bought some Christmas lights today, and put them up in my apartment. And I have also busted out the Christmas music. 'Tis the season!

puffy face and funny colours

I went back to work today. Man, this fall has been an absolute whirlwind. I am most definitely looking forward to the end of 2007! That being said, don't wish your life away, right?

Last Wednesday, I had my wisdom teeth removed. I only had three to begin with, so I guess I got off 'easy.' No dry socket, and an amazing doctor to do the procedure. I just have to say, thank god for extended health benefits, or I would still be trying to dig up the roughly $1,300 this procedure will cost! What are you supposed to do if you don't have money, EHB, and your wisdom teeth are causing you pain? Answer me THAT, healthcare system.

The procedure went okay. For the first time though, coming out of a general anesthetic, I was very disoriented, and had a mild panic attack. I calmed down after a few minutes, but I am man enough to admit that I was bawling when I woke up. I was confused, in pain (until the put something in my IV), and all of the events of the past few exciting months just seemed to sort of pile on me all at once, and I lost it. Had a good cry, talked to a very sympathetic nurse, and then went home. I feel so much better for having had these teeth out though, both mentally and physically. Having them out has been weighing over me for about 2 years now, and it feels good to have it behind me. Not to mention, my persistent headache... is gone. And, since my diet is restricted, I have already lost 5 pounds! That being said, my kingdom for chicken strips right now. I am tired of canned/pureed goods. Hopefully at my follow up tomorrow I will get some more advice re: diet.

I am writing my one and only final tomorrow. Then, this horrible course that I have been hating will be OVER! For good. I still don't know any of my grades in the course at all, and frankly, I don't care either. Que sera sera!

Anyways, to bed with me. It is late, and I have a lot to do tomorrow!

And a quick welcome back to Claire. It's nice to have another blogger re-born to join us.

Christmas Party

Went to the Butchart Christmas Gala last night. Had a good time. However, this is the first gala where I haven't danced. Not one dance. I felt weird, and kind of old...

Many thanks to Hannah for the companionship!

Pictures below:

when will it stop?

My god, this has been quite the stretch.

Sat down for lunch yesterday, having bought myself a chicken caesar wrap, and a bowl of soup. I took a couple of bites of the wrap, then ate my soup. Went to continue with the wrap, and out of the corner of my eye, saw some pink. I thought "gee, that is some awfully pink chicken" then realized that I was currently devouring a shrimp wrap. Not good for me at all.

I threw the wrap down on my plate, told my co-workers to give the cafeteria heck, and called emergency first aid. I spent an hour in first aid, had a mild reaction (instead of anaphylaxis), and went back to work, so drugged I could barely stay awake.

How did I get a shrimp wrap, you ask? They were wrapped in exactly the same tortilla as the chicken, and on the same shelf where the chicken wraps have been for the last 2.5 years! The girls in the cafeteria gave the kitchen heck, and the kitchen said "We told you there were some shrimp ones in there with the chicken." Not good enough. No labelling, absolutely no indication that these wraps were different at all. They should have been cut in half so it was completely clear what was inside them.

While I was in first aid, one of my co-workers told the director of Food Services what had happened, and his response was "If it would happen to anyone, it would happen to Dave." I then saw him myself on two separate occasions later that afternoon. Not one "I'm sorry" or "How are you feeling?" or "That was awful!" It was business as usual.

This is the second time an unlabelled substitution has caused me grief... On Monday, I am going to go to the Food Services director and just be polite but firm: What is going to change? What can I watch for? Because, quite frankly, this shouldn't happen. Yes, the onus is on the allergy-bearer to be careful, but a wrap on a shelf labelled Chicken should not be full of shrimp!

Anyways, the Christmas Gala is tonight at work, so that is something to look forward to.

I'm out. Off to the clinic!

morning

My throat really hurts, a lot. More than it has ever hurt. I grimace every time I swallow. I have to try and convince the clinic doctor to talk to me about it today. You are only allowed to see one physician a day under BC Medicare, and I use that visit every day for my dressing change. Perhaps, the doctor will be able to cover off on two issues.

My wisdom teeth are coming out on Wednesday. My research paper and project are due on Tuesday. I start every day lined up outside the walk-in clinic 30 minutes before opening.

I want company.

And yes, I am feeling a little bit melodramatic lately.

happenings

Things that have happened to me this year:

- Met Eric
- Got great new job
- Travelled to London and Berlin w/Eric
- Took a Web Design Course and did well
- Moved out of a house and in with Eric
- Went to Edmonton for Eric's birthday present, saw Eartha Kitt Live!
- Developed medical problems
- Medical problems turned into cancer scare (briefly)
- Cancer scare turned back into medical problems
- Waited 5 months for surgery
- Spent the equivalent of days at the doctor's office
- Bought new car
- Stretched my credit cards
- Joined the pension plan
- Moved out of Eric's place to my parents
- Moved into my own apartment
- Got into car accident
- Started payments on my student loan
- Travelled to Kelowna with Liz, toured wineries, and visited friends in Nelson and Vancouver
- Went back to school
- Taking a history course that I absolutely loathe.
- Got my surgery date
- Surgery failed, must go to clinic every day.
- Wisdom teeth acting up, must come out NOW.

I am not sure what kind of year this has been... and it isn't over yet!

fragile

So here I am. Lindsay and I made a commitment to each other to restart our blogs, vowing that we would keep it completely separate from our Facebook lives.

I feel really fragile right now. The last few months have had a lot of good, and a lot of challenges. I am definitely looking forward to the year being behind me. To get back into the blogger groove, I have been looking back through my previous posts... and I miss me. Does that make any sense? I look back, and I seemed so much more, stable or level, a little while ago. I don't know.

I think I am going to have to think for awhile.